The Happy Post

By Ken Bruen

  Gunshotsmileyface

I did promise a happy post and by god, this is it ……….. so get ready

I’ve just returned from LA ………… great line that ….. as if I kinda hopped over there every week

I know you believe that

Long flight, eleven hours and change and that’s from Dublin, I’d already flown from Galway in the wee hours but ………. ok, this is a happy post and there will be no bad vibes

Finally get through all the security and immigration, take me seat and the woman sitting next to me, gives me the look

“Uh oh”

She goes

“I asked for the aisle seat”

She’s in the window, as if you haven’t guessed, and I offer her my seat, the obviously coveted aisle job and she goes

“And have you resenting me for 11 hours ………… no thank you Mister.”

We didn’t talk a whole lot after that save when they didn’t bring her Vegetarian meal and I wisely keep me mouth shut, let the airline deal with it

The devil is in me to tell her……….it’s AIRLINE FOOD……….it all tastes the same, and when people tell me they reserved their special meal three months before, I’m going to fess up and say

“Jesus wept”

I watch Zodiac purely for Robert Downey Jnr………..God, what a talent

Here’s the really happy bit………..we get to LAX………….my veggie friend doesn’t say goodbye or such but you know, fookit

A limo waiting……………is there a writer on God’s earth doesn’t want to arrive in LA and have a stretch limo waiting…………….just once

I’m both delighted and mortified, I ask the driver if I can sit up front and he gives me the look

The back it is

I try to sneak in, I know it’s LA……like anyone gives a toss

I’m staying in Beverly Hills and yes, for me……….add Hillbilly

Huge room with a balcony

I’m but a bad book review from Rodeo Drive

First night, I go to a party in Laurel Canyon and no shite but everybody is

Scriptwriter

Actor

Director

Nobody is a mere book writer

And everybody is gorgeous……….honest to God, I dunno if it’s all NIP AND TUCK or

whatever but Jesus, it worked

A stunning young girl tells me

“I just like, love your accent.”

See, looks aren’t everything

Next day

I meet with Brad, the producer for Blitz. I’ve waited a lot of years to use that sentence.

We have lunch outside on Sunset Boulevard and my jaw drops every few minutes as some star strolls by. I have shades on…….see, I’d gone Hollywood in 24 hours and  speaking of……..Keifer stops by as Brad cast him in Freeway, I’m introduced and cool, I say

“Good to see you.”

Fook, did I really say that

Alas

Brad produced Monster and I’ve a million things to ask about that but I pick up the menu, ask

“What’s good here?”

I so badly want to name drop others who stopped by but how awful would that be

Skip to the chase and the show, we tape at 4.30 and it’s all done and wrapped in jig time,

I can’t get me head around the fact I’m wearing a tie

I did remove the shades

Briefly

In the car, am……….limo…….after, I try to recall a single word I said and all I can remember is Craig Ferguson giving me a hug

Saturday, we hit the bookshops and the Independents as usual are just so welcoming and friendly

I’m signing books and realize, I love this, this is the icing on the cake

Sunday, drove up the Pacific Coast Highway and for once, I’m lost for words, I briefly wonder what it would be like to live here, would I produce work full of sunshine and light

I doubt it

But the wind and the rain and the dark, it’s what I know, it never once occurred to me to ask

“Do you like it?”

It’s my terrain

All too soon, I’m back on a plane, aisle seat of course and guess what’s showing

Zodiac

I watch the completely hilarious Will Ferrell’s “Blades of Glory”

I’m laughing out loud and this might be the nearest to happy I get

I’m not complaining

Back in Dublin, you guessed it, it’s raining and cold and what the hell, I slip my shades on, live the dream another little while


K.B.

19 thoughts on “The Happy Post”

  1. Evil Kev

    It sounds like there were some real highlights to the trip.

    I’m sure if you lived in Hollywood, you would write books where disaffected Irish movie stars kill paparazzi for entertainment.

    I’m really looking forward to seeing “Blitz” on the big screen.

    It was a nice tie though…

    Reply ↓
  3. pari

    Yeah, that’s it. Our glamour Ken back from kabitzing with the glitterati . . .

    Glad you had some fun for a change. May you have much more — even in the dark rain.

    It’s amazing what a pair of shades will do.

    BTW: I, too, wish you’d had more time to talk. I suspect part of Craig’s mania was that he was so excited to meet you.

    Reply ↓
  4. John

    You were great on Ferguson, though I agree that it would have been nice if he’d have let you talk about the book you were there to promote. Still, a writer on network TV… that’s not bad these days. Glad you enjoyed the trip.

    Reply ↓
  10. Mike MacLean

    Ever notice after reading a Ken Bruen post you start trying to talk like an Irishman? Then you feel like a complete…tosser.

    Congrats on a great TV appearance and on the Shamus nom.

    Reply ↓
  11. Cornelia Read

    Ah, Ken, you were gorgeous and brilliant on TV (no surprise). Perhaps you could consider just *wintering* in California? Every other year, at least? We are just so deprived without you, it doesn’t seem fair.

    I hope you get lots more limos and GOOD stuff happening, round the clock.

    Reply ↓
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