The Brits have many differing reputations – not all of them good. We binge-drink. We paint Union Jacks on our faces and run riot at sporting events abroad. We are obsessed with the cult of talentless celebrity (being ‘a celebrity’ is now a recognised ambition for school-leavers). We will sue for libel at the drop of a hat. And if that hat lands on our foot, we’ll sue you for personal injury as well. Our politicians promise the earth when they’re in opposition, then once they get into power they renege and cheat on their expenses … oh, hang on, maybe that last point isn’t so unique to this country.
The engineering brilliance of the Victorians has been transformed into a nation of fun-pubs and asylum seekers, shirkers, chinless wonders, boarded-up high streets and blame-culture ‘you-must-not-have-any-fun-in-case-you-hurt-yourself’ Health & Safety petty bureaucracy.
Sounds like a cue for Stone Sour:
But, the Brits do have their good side. Our military, while under-supported and under-equipped, are still regarded as a superb fighting force. The vast red brick factories of the Industrial Revolution have given way to small pockets of technical ingenuity.
A visit to the Coventry Motor Museum, where they have a display of Richard Noble’s two land-speed record-breaking cars, Thrust 2 and Thrust SSC, tells you as much as you need to know about our abilities to improvise in remarkable ways.
And while we don’t do Spectacle quite as well as the Americans …
… political plain speaking quite as well as the Australians …
… and can’t run a railway anywhere near as well as the Japanese …
… you have to admit that we do a pretty good line in Pomp and Ceremony:
But one thing the Brits do find it enormously difficult to do is open up and Share.
I don’t know why this should be. Maybe something of that stiff upper lip colonial mentality still remains, but I find it very hard to unload emotionally onto strangers, to talk about what I earn, or discuss what we paid for our house. If someone remarks on my dress, I’m far more likely to confess that I bought it in a mega-sale than smile sweetly and accept the praise. I once said about Charlie Fox that she took a punch easier than she took a compliment, and maybe there’s a lot of her in me, or vice versa. I may get a lot of things across in my writing that I should have unloaded onto my therapist – if I had a therapist. (That’s another thing Brits don’t do – therapy.)
So, while others are prepared to strip themselves bare in public, I prefer to keep things just a little more bottled up, to use it in another way. Just because I don’t talk about my emotions, doesn’t mean I don’t have any, or can’t access them. I’d rather think of them as the flames in an internal combustion engine rather than a bonfire. Maybe it’s little more than a writing technique, but everyone goes about this job in their own way.
I spent last weekend at the Harrogate Crime Writing Festival, where I ran into our Tess who was delightful enough to be singing the praises of my books. (And, being a Brit, I’m getting embarrassed even typing that …) as well as a whole host of other literati. I was struck once again by the generosity of the writing crowd. When I mentioned to Al Guthrie that I’m bringing out the early Charlie Fox books in e-format next month, he immediately offered to interview me for his Criminal-E blog. Lee Child readily agreed for me to use the introduction he wrote for the Busted Flush edition of KILLER INSTINCT in the e-version as well, and said he’d link to his own site. And I had four approaches from agents, who’d just learned that I had, with much regret, parted company from my own.
Next month I should have an e-anthology – which I’m convinced should be called an e-thology – of Charlie short stories, and the first five novels being launched in e-format for the first time. I may well be singing and dancing about that a LOT. So, being a Brit, I shall apologise in advance for such vulgar self-promotional activities, but I hope you’ll forgive my excitement.
So, ‘Rati, what are the best and worst characteristics of your fellow countrymen (and women, of course)? Alternatively, what characteristic is often exaggerated in books or movies, that really annoys you? (Only, if you’re a Brit, you’ll probably be too polite to say so …)
This week’s Word of the Week is giraffiti, which is vandalism spray-painted very, very high …
I'm so glad to hear about your good news. And you may not like hearing it, but you deserve all that praise and support.
If you want to know the worst of America, look no further than the debt ceiling debate. The smug quasi-sanctimonious anti-intellectual proud-to-be-a-bufoon pre-Keplerian idiot-savant narcissistic vulgar violent and just sheer vile swaggering pompous racist stupidity.
The best: the egalitarian self-sacrificing open-hearted open-armed slapstick fun-loving workish wonkish get-it-done down-to-earth stoic pragmatic hopeful honest brash creative try-anything adventurous heroic humble sense of fairness.
Sadly, we seem too mired in the former to exhibit much of the latter. Whether that's tragedy or farce, only history can tell.
And I remember seeing you once in a strapless red dress. You were incandescent. There. Take it.
"cheat on their expenses" In America, it seems our members of Congress cheat on their wives. Outrageous scandals week after week. They cheat on their expenses, too, but it doesn't sell as well.
We Americans have a lot in common with you Brits. You are more reticent. However, I met a man from Portugal who was offended if the hotel staff asked him if he had a nice day as it wasn't any of their buisness. And he never inquired about someone's family as they might have died or be sick and that would be painful to discuss.
The American government, it would seem, is on a crusade to protect everyone from everything, except the debt ceiling. It's going to be painful when we bang our heads on it.
Great news about Charlie. I'm sure she'll be glad to be flying everywhere electronically.
"cheat on their expenses" In America, it seems our members of Congress cheat on their wives. Outrageous scandals week after week. They cheat on their expenses, too, but it doesn't sell as well.
We Americans have a lot in common with you Brits. You are more reticent. However, I met a man from Portugal who was offended if the hotel staff asked him if he had a nice day as it wasn't any of their buisness. And he never inquired about someone's family as they might have died or be sick and that would be painful to discuss.
The American government, it would seem, is on a crusade to protect everyone from everything, except the debt ceiling. It's going to be painful when we bang our heads on it.
Great news about Charlie. I'm sure she'll be glad to be flying everywhere electronically.
Ay yi yi, what a topic, Zoë. For America, I'd have to say that our most egregious trait is that dangerous combination of arrogance and ignorance. And the annoying habit of mis-stating "American exceptionalism."
Watching the debt ceiling debacle, I'm hard pressed to come up with our best trait today.
Manifest Destiny is a lovely trait we Americans have, unfortunately inherited from the Brits. I suppose it's just one of those Superpower things.
Congrats on all the good that is coming your way.
Zoë, thanks for your "word of the week", which was so good I had to steal and share it.
On other subjects, it would be hard to find any American trait more worthy of contempt than what is going on now in Washington, as mentioned by several above. The political posturing and disregard for what is best for we, the people who elected these dolts, is beyond belief. Term limits are beginning to sound better and better.
So many people already mentioned the worst of America, I'm not going to add to it.
The best, though? Despite all those reports about crime and such, we're still ready to bend over backwards to help our neighbors. Not necessarily those in power, but if there's a house fire in New England an entire city will take up collections for them. Hurricane Katrina led to high-schools in the area incorporating 'penny wars' into their spirit weeks, where the winner collected the most money to donate to a worthy cause.
Now if we could only put that sort of thing into the government….
-Alaina
Thanks, David
Wow, you should learn to speak your mind, dude. I mean, don’t hold back. What a fantastic near-rant, both for and against.
Oh, and while I would LOVE to ‘take it’ as you so elegantly put it, sadly I have never owned a red strapless dress … <sigh>
Hi Judy
Ah, I should have mentioned that our politicians *also* cheat on their wives – but then they try and put the pay-per-view porn watched by their husbands through as their parliamentary expenses.
And thank you for the good wishes for Charlie!
Hi Louise
Hmm, I confess that we’ve spent the last week either at a crime convention (lots of time in the bar) and then digging up a driveway for some friends, so we haven’t been watching a lot of news …
Hi Stephen
Ah, is this where I have to start apologising for colonial oppression again …? ;-]
Hi Carl
It’s a great one, isn’t it? A friend sent me a list of words that have their original meanings altered by the addition of an extra letter, and that was one of my favourites, too.
By the way, this wasn’t supposed to be a political blog post. The political situation in the States at the moment is a bit of a mystery to me … we have a big enough mess of our own to worry about ;-]
Hi Alaina
Wouldn’t that be a good idea if we could use small-scale kindness as a lesson for large-scale living?
Zoe: with your word of the week, we have Shepard Fairey, you have Banksy…just saw his movie Exit Through the Gift Shop and loved it. Americans come in all flavors, shapes, sizes, and colors…I'm from the Northwest, which is different from being from Tennessee for example or Mississippi. In Mississippi, it's a felony if you put sugar in your corn bread. In the Northwest, we eat all kinds of things from the sea and there's a different coffee place on every corner.
I live between San Francisco, which has its own legacy (I moved here because I wanted to be a Beat poet) and New Orleans, which I consider a cultural birthplace of much of what is good about the U.S.
I try not to let the loonies in DC define me.
I don't know about the women but you did leave out one thing about English men – for all that supposed reticence, when it comes down to it they are – constantly surprising.
Worst about Americans? Puritanical prudery and religious fanaticism.
Looking forward to the e Charlies!
Zoe:
Nice post. Gave me an idea for my next one, thanks.
Not to inject religion into this discussion, but the most inaccurate stereotype of Americans in my opinion is the idea that we're a "God-fearing" nation. What hypocrisy. If we really feared God — were afraid of the consequences of enraging a benevolent Supreme Being — we wouldn't do half the horrific things we do to ourselves and our planet in His/Her/Its name.
Hi Allison
Banksy is inspired! I love his work and have photographed his stuff in London before now – including one that read: ‘This is not a photo opportunity.’ Well, it may not have been before he got to work on it, but afterwards it definitely was …
LOL on the corn bread, by the way. A bit like offending the Scots by putting sugar on your porridge instead of salt!
And I try not to let the loonies in Westminster define me, either ;-]
Thanks, Alex
“Englishmen are constantly surprising?” Well, I’m constantly delighted by mine, but do tell! How’s your own e-venture going?
Hi Gar
Thanks, and that’s a good point about the religious angle, although there do seem to be an awful lot of very big churches just about everywhere we’ve been in the States. And the more I see of organised religion, the less inclined I am to take part – maybe with the exception of something like Buddhism?
The characteristic that is often exaggerated is that Brazilians are beautiful. Like all women are drop dead gorgeous like Gisele Bundchen and men are some kind of underwear models. Umm, no. I wish, right??? I'm short, chubby (not to say really fat!), brunette. And, the guys??? Ugh!!! Let's not go there, shall we? They're just about really ugly overall. I swear, the hardest thing ever is to see a guy who's really stunning. I hate how people are always saying Brazilian people are beautiful, because it just makes me wish they were, haha 🙂
Oh god. Religion. It's a very small word. Lots of ministry, more broadly defined, happens in buildings called churches. Most ministry has nothing to do with goddish religion. I am sometimes annoyed by the misconception that church=religion. Church=space and/or community. Churches are changing, because people's expressed beliefs are changing.
Which is not to say I don't believe in something.
Zoe:
Well, forgive my mis-memory, or memory miss, but I remember a stunning dress at some function, perhaps in London, and yes I'm color blind et cetera but you were done up stunningly and that is the absolute truth.
Really.
David
Zoëëëëëëëëëëëëëëëë!!!!!! E-FORMAT of the FIRST FIVE!!! AND – an e-thology – of Charlie short stories! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
Hi Barbie
So, all Brazilian men are really NOT like underwear models? Damn, another myth shattered. Although, having said that, there are those catalogues for incontinence pants … OK, OK, I won’t take that one any further than I have already.
Hi Reine
Hmm, I really feel I should stay away from the whole religious argument. Suffice to say that going to church does not make some people Christian, in the same way that standing in a garage would not make them a car … ;-]
Oh, and wow, what a reaction to the prospect of Charlie e-books! THANK YOU.
Thanks, David
Erm, OK, I’ll just smile sweetly and take it like a … woman, I suppose ;-] Bless you.
Hi Zoë – Yes, I am looking looking so forward to those e-books! [Sorry bout the rant. Don't know where that came from.]
Thanks, Reine
And rants are always welcome ;-]