It’s hard to imagine that we’ve been blogging here at Murderati for a year. Thank you to all our readers!
I don’t usually make New Year’s resolutions, and I look at September, the beginning of the school year, as the beginning of my year. Now I have an anniversary in April to celebrate. Fitting, really, the rebirth of the season, new life, new hope. I looked back over my blog entries — 49 essays, 45 wine recommendations, and am struck by the amount of work. I’m very grateful for this forum. It has changed me, as a writer, a reader, a group member, a technorati, a leader and a follower. And any exercise that changes you for the better, as I believe Murderati has done for me, if well worth the hard work, don’t you think?
We’ve all had change in the past year. My life has altered so dramatically, I sometimes need a good pinching to remind myself that it’s real.
Allow me a moment to indulge in where I stood as an author this time last year. I had an agent and a book under my belt that hadn’t sold. I’d just written my first couple of short stories. The mere thought of writing a weekly essay on writing scared me to death. How could I expect anyone to take me seriously when I’d never been published, and was surrounded by all these great writers who had? I knew virtually no one in the industry outside of a few generous souls who were encouraging me behind the scenes. I’d never even been to a conference when I agreed to come on board. I feel like Murderati took a huge chance on me, and I’ll be forever grateful for the opportunity.
I got my book deal 6 weeks after Murderati’s inception. Would I have gotten the deal if I weren’t with the blog???? I don’t know. Murderati didn’t hurt, I’ll tell you that.
It’s funny, really, when I look back over the past year. It hearkens back to my junior high days of glasses and braces, being much too tall for every boy, finding validation on the basketball court, the volleyball court and in class, but never feeling like I fit. Square peg, round hole. Then we moved, I lost the braces, got contacts, and enjoyed high school. I wasn’t the most popular girl, kind of drifted between all the groups, the jocks (I was a track hound — state discus) the brains (G&T classes) the druggies (LOVED Jethro Tull and Pink Floyd), the punks (desperately wanted to die the hair pink but didn’t have the guts, and Anarchy, Baby!) and the geeks (because really, aren’t we all?) I didn’t have a ton of trauma. It was fine.
But I never totally lost that square peg/round hole feeling. Even when I was happy in my other career, I knew something wasn’t right. When I found myself through my books, I finally understood where I was supposed to be in the grand scheme of life. Square pegs finds finely crafted square hole — or as hubby likes to put it — blind squirrel finds nut, News at 11. It is a bit of a "duh" feeling. I’ve never been so happy as I have this past year.
Murderati has given me a gift bigger than any I’ve ever received. As a few of you may have noticed, I tend to do a bit of introspection through this blog. This weekly analysis session is like lying on the psychiatrist’s couch for me. I get to examine my motivations, delve into the why behind my writing, and more importantly, adhere to a writing schedule. I’ve learned new levels of discipline. Days where the fiction isn’t flowing, I can write four or five blog entries and get myself back in the game. I have a new level of comfort with my own writing, and with the explanations therein. I thank you for allowing me to come into your life each week.
While I wish my blog mates past and present a big Happy Birthday, I leave you, the reader, with this thought. Follow your dreams. You just don’t know where they might lead.
Wine of the Week: As I wrote this post, my absolute favorite Rachmaninoff, the Piano concerto #2, came on. So to honor the karma, let’s do something different.
And some location specific wine to go with it: Francis Ford Coppola Rosso The wine is divine, and the website a work of art.