EE: Is it possible that you’re really John Saul’s muse?
PG: No, but interestingly enough, I’m Saul Muse’s john. Saul’s the butcher at the deli I frequent, and the guy dumps on me every chance he gets. Isn’t it funny how my spies get things screwed up? No? I don’t think so either.
EE: Please squash the rumor that Ang Lee is badgering you to co-produce his next movie – ‘The Return of The Three Stooges’. We need you here, in Mysteryville, Paul.
PG: I just saw him at a Vic Tayback trivia night. Man, does Ang know his “Alice.” Anyway, I was telling him about the three G’s in Hurwitz’s name, and one thing lead to another, and we started making out. What was your question? Oh. Actually, his next project is a prequel to his Oscar-winning film – “CrackedRib Creek”. It’s about Ennis Jack’s early years – when it was just simple petting and they knew how to quit each other. I’m laughing too hard here to think!
EE: But enough of this trivia, tell us – and keep it clean – what is your Walter Mitty dream? 100,000 words or less, please.
PG: I’d like to be a sexy former antiques dealer, living in the land of sea lions and Steinbeck, hammering out novels, and occasionally drinking beer with friends. I’m blushing. Could the new night cream be working?
EE: What is your one regret in life?
PG: Doing this interview.
Aww, come on Paul!
EE: So, Paul – tell me…er, us…which sex symbol do you think you resemble?
PG: Rerun from “What’s Happening!” See why he’s such a great writer?
EE: Rumor has it that you’re not answering emails from the thousands of readers going through withdrawal since you shut down your blog –‘INKSLINGER’ This is beyond cruel, Paul. You’ve left an incalculable void and wannabe script writers are assembling to march on your home.
PG: It will stand as an icon of its generation. That, or Typepad will delete it to save face.
Paul is being too humble here. INKSLINGER was one of the most widely read blogs on the net. Not only was it a daily does of laughs, it was filled with insider tips for seasoned scriptwriters as well as those ‘hoping to be’ – and many posters were some of the biggest names on TV, film and in Mysteryville.. Visits-or ‘hits’-frequently hit over 2,000 per day! The mourning period lingers still.
EE: And last, but not the least – by any stretch – when will you finish that thriller we’ve all been waiting for?
PG: As Shell Winters used to say at Seder – “You gonna eat that?” In other words, don’t point out the spec in my eye until you get the bull out of the china shop. In other words, don’t cry over milk inside a black kettle pot. In other words, man does not live by listening to Bread alone. Baby, ImA want you. You get all that everyone? I mean, is the man heavy, or what?
PG: Is she gone yet?