ON THE BUBBLE with JIM ROLLINS

Jim Rollins is one of the few men I take to bed who can keep me up all night.

Well, it’s true.  His chapter endings are such cliff-hangers, I can’t let go of my anxiety.  But then, what can you expect from this best selling author of SEVEN pulse racing thrillers?  Oh, and then he’s also a best selling fantasy author of THREE different series under the name of James Clemens!  And then of course, he also has a Ph.D in veterinary medicine, his undergraduate work focused on evolutionary biology-he’s an amateur spelunker and a certified scuba diver.  Other than that, he’s just your ordinary regular guy.  Yeah. Right.  A super human dynamo is more like it.  Lest you think me gaga, be sure to pick up his newest – BLACK ORDER – out June 27th and see for yourself.

Now, come meet Jim Rollins and discover why he is the newest member of my secret loves club.   p.s. I have six now, and room for one more.

EE:  Sean Connery called me last night, and after swearing me to secrecy (HA!), he told me that  George Lucas has read all of your best sellers and is planning on offering you zillions to stop writing because you’ve already covered many of the plots he had on the back burner.  And, he’s terrified Steven Spielberg will get to you first.  So, Jim, daaahhhling, wasup?

JR:  Yes, I’ve had to run electronic surveillance sweeps to make sure my home is not bugged.  And I didn’t fall for that trick of sending Harrison Ford to my doorstep.  He said he was just coming over to borrow a cup of sugar, but I knew he was really a Spielberg/Lucas mole.  And that new stud earring Harrison is now sporting…plainly a sophisticated camera.  Amateurs!

Oh, and here I thought Connery was letting me in for a scoop!  You knew all the time!  But then, I’d not expect less from you.

EE:  So, Jim – isn’t it true your hobby as a caver is really a cover up for the work you’re doing for N.S.A.’s search for Atlantis?

JR:  Just between you and me…who the heck caves for fun?!?  The mud, the claustrophobia, the cold.  Of course, thre is more to it than a mere ‘hobby’! And that Atlantis rumor was merely a cover story to hide the real truth.  I discovered the moldering bones of Jules Verne clutching a strange map, and I’m still following those clues.  Unfortunately, last year, I transposed two Latin verbs in one of Verne’s codes and ended up in Dan Brown’s basement.  But now I’m back on track.

Dan Brown’s basement???  Ohhh….hope he didn’t see you.  Where you able to take a peek at what he’s working on next?  He hasn’t read any of your books, has he?  Just kidding.

EE:  I understand you’re a movie buff, Jim – and that ‘Way of the Vampire’ and ‘Season of the Hunted’ are your favorites.  Any others you think we might enjoy?

JR:  I would like to take this opportunity to make a personal plea to Hollywood.  Can we PLEASE have more movies based on video games?  This is a trend that is barely tapped.  I think Christian Slater was robbed of an Oscar for his performance in ‘Alone in the Dark’. And where is the long-awaited Ms. Pacman movie?  We’ve been clammoring for it for decades!  And c’mon, ‘Tetris: The Movie’ practically writes itself!

So, so true!  Tell you what – I will personally call Ron Howard today and pass along your brilliant suggestions.  And if he doesn’t bite, I’ll just tell him that Tom Hanks is on the other line ready to call you himself. 

EE:  Back to the book biz for a minute:  What best selling book do you wish you’d written?

JR:  Without a doubt …The Old Testament….and of course, its sequel, The New Testament.  Just think of the royalties, and all those movie deals!  Mel Gibson alone would owe me a small fortune.

Brilliant choice!  The drama, the setting, the cast!  Oh, yes!  It’s all there.

EE:  We’ve all got a bad habit or two.  Or, maybe three?  How about you, Jim?

JR:  Answering interview questions.  I really have to break this habit.

Aww, but you’re so darn much fun

EE:  Okay, I’ll lighten up on you then if you hate these things.  How’s this?  Give us a hint of what would be a perfect day.

JR:  I’ve always thought it would be cool to live one of those apocalyptic days…you know, with flesh eating zombies.  I would then have a really good excuse not to go to the gym.

Flesh eating zombies??  Ewwww.  Wouldn’t the end of the world be a better choice?

EE:  Let’s try the ‘lighten up’ thing again, okay?  Who would you love to do a book tour with?

JR:  Only you, El…can I call you "El"?  Think of the lonely road together, the whispers across late candle-lit dinners, debating the works of Proust, shakespeare, and Lemony Snicket…then the occasional longing glance out of the corner of the eye, the sudden smile, the laughter that hides something more.  Where might it lead?  More than just the New York Times bestseller list?

OHHHHHH….HELP!  I’M MELTING FASTER THAN THE WAX ON THE CANDLES AND IT’S NOT HOT FLASHES!  DARLING!  OF COURSE YOU CAN CALL ME ‘EL’….JUST CALL ME!

EE:  Whew!  I’m not sure if I can go on here.  Pardon me for a moment whilst I fan my face.  Okay, I’m fine now.  I can do this.  Other than writing two series (!), what do you consider your biggest challenge?

JR:  It has to be my role as an international man of mystery.  It gets so tiring doing all those quick changes in disguise:  the modeling clay, the fake teeth, the tinted contact lenses.  The dry cleaning bill alone ate through my last royalty check. But at least the world is a much safer place.

The hell with the world, where shall we meet?

EE:  Sorry about that.  Okay, back to the interview.  Which writers would be on your ideal convention panel?

JR:  Anyone who really hates me.  Panels should be like reality television…bitter rivalries, back-stabbing, finger-pointing, alliances, betrayals.  A panel is not a panel without a really good fistfight…or at least one person out of the room in tears.  Even if it’s me.

We could sell tickets to that.  Let’s talk, okay?  In fact, now that I’ve got Ron Howard slobbering over you, we might even strike a deal with him to film it.  Think of the possibilites! Syndication even.  Reruns! We’d have that private island you’ve been lusting over.

EE:  Oh, my head is spinning with deals, but on to the next question.  Is it really true you listen to Led Zepplin when you write your thrillers – and that’s why your chapters always end as cliff hangers?  I mean, your pacing is heart racing!  Play fair with us, Jim! We really need to know this kind of stuff so we can copy you.

JR:  Led Zepplin?…not any longer, El (can I still call you, El?).  My current rave is mash-ups, where a DJ mixes two different musical styles together.  What I’m listening to right now is a mash-up of Barbra Streisand’s ‘Funny Girl’ and the Sex Pistol’s ‘Anarchy in the UK’.  In fact, I think Johnny Rotten and Barbra should tour together.  Think of them:  the lonely road, the whispers across late candle-lit meals, debating the works of Proust, Shakespeare…where might THAT lead?

But…but …wasn’t that our romantic evening?  Sigh.  I knew it was too good to be true.  Oh, well…into each life some rain must fall.

EE:  One of my sources tells me your neighbors are up in arms about your fans hanging around your front door lately.  Dogs, cats and all manner of animals who were once your patients when you were a vet – miss you so much they can’t stay away.  How have you managed to handle this, Jim?

JR:  Oh, I have an open invitation to spay or neuter anything that lands on my doorstep. So I guess I owe Harrison Ford an apology.  He really should not have come knocking when I had a scalpel in hand.

Oh, crimey!  Does Callista know?   Man, is she in for a surprise.  But – my lips are sealed.  She won’t hear it from me.  Unless, of course, our candle-lit dinner is off.

EE:  Okay, back to the writing life again.  Who is your favorite dead author – and why should Ophra select him next?

JR:  I’d say Jules Verne.  Mostly to see if he’d hop up and down on Oprah’s couch like Tom Cruise.

Wasn’t he the biggest jerk?  I think Verne would at least do it with more elan.

EE:  Which writer would you love to have all to yourself in a cozy corner of the bar at ThrillerFest?

JR:  Any writer who is willing to buy a guy a drink.  That’s my favorite sort of writer.

Really?  So, uh…Jim…I’ll have a Gentleman Jack and soda, what are you having?

EE:  Before the hot flashes start again, we’d all like to know what is your favorite retreat?

JR:  Without a doubt: the retreat of the Athenians during the Peloponnesian War.  I have the entire battle done in a diorama in my basement, each figure carefully crafted out of stale marshmllo Peep left over from last Easter.  Oh, wait, is that the ‘retreat’ you mean?

Uh, actually, no.  But, if it works for you….we’ll go with it.

EE:  And last, but not the least – what is your secret energy source?  You not only write two best selling series, but took on the mantle of Chief Award Judge (overseeing a gaggle of committees) for International Thriller Writers first ‘Thriller’ award.  I mean, come clean with us, Jim.  I’m worn out by three in the afternoon.  Whatever you’re using, want some!

JR:  It’s a combination of cold fusion and again those stale marshmallow Peeps (they do come in handy…even if they are the creation of demonic forces).

Oh, well…thanks, but I think I’ll pass, okay? 

AND – many, many thanks to Jim for being On The Bubble!  By now you’ve surely gotten an idea why I just love this guy! 

P.S.  Next Saturday – On The Bubble is taking the day off.  I’ll be at ThrillerFest in Phoenix, and since I won’t be here to ‘interact’  and miss all the fun, I’ve invited Kris Montee of P.J. Parrish fame to step in and regale you.  This is one funny, savvy and absolutely delightful lady – and you won’t want to miss what she has to say!  But – I’ll be back on June 24th with Laura Lippman On The Bubble.

I’ve got a great line up coming your way – but if there is a favorite author you’d like me to include on my victim list – give me an email and let me know.  I’ll track her/him down and grill the hell out of ’em.  No one escapes Evil E.

29 thoughts on “ON THE BUBBLE with JIM ROLLINS

  1. Louise Ure

    Between the “candlelit dinners,” “more movies based on video games,” and his “favorite retreat,” Jim just made my list of secret loves, too! You’ve finally met your match, Elaine. He won this interview.

    And Ms. E? Isn’t next week Laura’s On the Bubble, then you’re taking the following Saturday off for Tfest? I think you’ve jumped a week here.

    Reply
  2. Elaine

    Eeeekkkkkk! YES! I BLEW IT! THANK YOU LOUISE!!!

    Next week IS Laura Lippman and the following week is Kris Montee.

    What can I say except those candlelit dinners just got me all aflutter and I lost my mind? I’m still fanning my face – and not from hot flashes either.

    See? That’s why Louise is such a great mystery writer-she doesn’t miss a thing!

    Reply
  3. Elaine

    AND – Louise got another thing right- I fear I HAVE met my match with Jim Rollins. But, darlings, do I care? I mean, think about it…candlelight dinners? Wonder if my other secret loves are listening?

    Reply
  4. Iden Ford

    Uh Elaine, well uh, I love your “on the bubble” eh, but you maligned my favourite all time band who I have seen may times, and live and breath their music often. Does that explain me a bit? Anyway their name is spelled: LED ZEPPELIN, not Led Zepplin. Just wanted to clear that up. Back to my aches and pains.Love, Iden

    Reply
  5. Elaine

    Looks like another apology is in order, Iden. However, try typing all this with one hand back in a splint – and no spell check.

    Besides which – I’m a jazz fan. Does that explain me a bit? The grin sign doesn’t work either – so consider it here.

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  6. Elaine

    BY THE WAY – Jim will be checking in tonight and tomorrow morning – so don’t be surprised if he replies to your post. Or, don’t be surprised if he doesn’t. Again-grin sign should be here.

    Reply
  7. Iden Ford

    Elaine, BY THE WAY is a resturaunt in Toronto you should check out when you come to town again, it is Maureen’s and my fave. THAT’S THE WAY is a Led Zeppelin song that is wonderful. Okay, too many scotches today. Talk soon

    Reply
  8. vito

    this was another interview i loved. i also think an apoctoliptic day with flesh-eating zomies would be fun and exciting. i hope you two have fun on those candle-lit dinners, dont get too crazy. i think its cool jim was a vet, i wanted to be a vet too. and i also listened to music when i was writing stories for school. keep up the fantastic interviews “el”.

    Reply
  9. Allison Brennan

    I always love your bubbles, Elaine, but I had to comment on this one because I’m a big James Rollins fan and he’s from my stomping grounds here in the greater Sacramento area — we house great writers in N Cal!

    See you in Phoenix . . . I can hardly wait!

    Reply
  10. kaflinn

    OK – this is the best one yet! I know I’m probably considered biased but…Mom? You really are f***ing funny! A couple of things though:

    1. Jim Rollins is also Jim Clemens …and you never told me??! I LOVED the Godslayer Chronicles.

    2. Sean Connery isn’t one of your secret loves? Fine. I’d like his phone number please. Preferably while he’s still young enough to enjoy me. Uh, that didn’t come out right.

    3. Jim Clemens is Jim Rollins, and you didn’t tell me? We really have to work on our mother-daughter bonding.

    4. Ya gotta give Mom a pass on the LED ZEPPELIN thing, Iden. She’s really a Deadhead and Moody Blues/Yes fan.

    5. Hi Louise!

    6. Jim Rollins wins the “Best Taste in Women” award. ‘Bout damn time someone answers the Book Tour question by naming you! Uh – but can you leave the pet zombie at home, Jim? I’d kinda like Mom back in one coheasive part, rather than multiples.

    7. Have a great tinme at ThrillerFest (do i get to go with you next time, huh, huh, pleeaaaassseee???)!

    8. Demonic forces and Peeps: damn! I knew there was something evil about those things – nothing that cute, or that particular shade of yellow that doesn’t really exist in nature, could come from the forces of good. I also suspect when left alone in the darkness, they mate and spawn Twinkies. But that’s just a theory. (God, I need a life)

    Reply
  11. Robin Burcell

    Zombies and stale Peeps. I feel like the former in the morning, and I’m pretty sure I have the latter in the pantry left over from last Easter (Forget which book you wish you’d written, who wouldn’t want to be the inventor of Peeps? Guy’s gotta be a gazillionaire by now.) But before I digress, I just want to clarify here… that is the secret to your success, Jim? Dunking those stale Peeps into your coffee? Dang! I thought the secret was fresh Peeps! They’ve gotta be stale???

    Reply
  12. james rollins

    Hi Elaine, Robin, Allison, and Louise…we really must stop meeting like this. Folks are going to start talking, spreading rumors, before you know it, all five of us will be featured in People Magazine’s Insiders section: “A Secret Cabal of Authors meet to Conjure the Dead: Learn their diet secrets now!”

    Iden, yes, the THE Zeppelin must not be blasphemed!

    Allison, loved the trio (prey, hunt, kill) and looking forward to Seen No evil. And yes, Sacramento Rocks!

    Robin, thanks for coming to the Thriller signing at Borders! That was way cool.

    Louise, I have another 134 books for your to review. They are headed to your doorstep.

    KA, daughter of El, the dunking of Peeps into morning coffee is a divine ritual, first practiced by the Egyptians, in honor of their god Osiris (the bird-headed goddess for which the Peeps were modeled). On a funny side note, each Peep has a drop of Osiris’s blood. True story! But I digress. KA, through your veins runs the blood of the great and powerful EL. May you use your power wisely. Remember Uncle Ben’s warning to Spiderman, “With great power, comes great responsibility…and some kiss-ass costumes.” So dress appropriately, and always carry an umbrella if its cloudy (sunscreen if it’s not).

    Last but hardly least, to my dearest El, last night was wonderful. I will always remember the interview. But I’m still trying to figure out why we had to do it naked in bed at a seaside inn in Carmel. So when the zombie horde attacks Phoenix, remember, my dear El, we’ll always have Carmel.

    With warm regards and stale Peeps,Jim

    Reply
  13. Iden Ford

    Jim I gotta read your books now, . . . . “I hear the dogs of doom a howlin more . . more . . . more!!!!. . . . . there is no quarter, I ask no quarter . . . ”

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  14. JLW

    I wold just like to point out a few things:

    (1) Peeps are candy chicks.(2) Zombies are animated corpses.(3) Only animated chicks responded to this edition of “On the Bubble”.

    Coincidence?

    Reply
  15. Elaine

    Oh, Jim!Darling, Jim! I have no fear of zombies – for I shall have you to protect me. So let ’em come to Phoenix! We can handle those bozo’s. Just make sure those silver bullets work on them, okay?

    Uh, I gotta go now-my daughter is on the phone wanting to know about…well, nevermind..the cat’s already out of the bag.

    Reply
  16. Elaine

    Allison: Great writers in Nor Calif? You bet! Like a few dozen? Ahem, I’m a sorta Nor Calif writer too. Okay, Central Coast-but I was born in Oakland, does that count? I’m up in Eugene, Oregon now – but I’m still a California kinda gal.

    Reply
  17. Iden Ford

    Everything the west coast of the US is an extension of California Dreamin. Even Vancouverites like my sister consider themselves living the West Coast California lifestyle. California is kind of a country to itself really when you think about it. Thanks for the great interview Elaine, seriously I am getting jim’s latest tomorrow. These are the kinds of things you all do so well to promote authors. Love Murderati.

    Reply
  18. Louise Ure

    Jim wrote: “Louise, I have another 134 books for your to review. They are headed to your doorstep.”

    My dearest James: Did I forget to tell you I moved?

    Seriously, helping with the ITW judging panel for best PBO Thriller was great fun. Thanks for letting me be part of that.

    Reply
  19. Pari

    Oh, El and James,There’s just too much to respond to here — too much for a little New Mexican who loves Peeps, drinks and guys with a sense of humor.

    Elaine, I am soooooooo jealous!

    And Jame’s favorite retreat — glorious. Though I kind of liked it when Odysseus whopped those guys hanging around Penelope.But maybe that wasn’t so much a retreat as a, well, slaughter?

    Reply
  20. Elaine

    Yes, Pari – I understand your jealously – Jim is…well…it’s just too bad you won’t be at ThrillerFest to see for yourself.

    Try not to think of us there…the moonlight, the soft music, the warm Phoenix nights…And then Louise, Allison and Robin trying to tear me away from Jim for themselves. Little do they know I have magic powers that can be unleashed to ward them off. Kindly, of course…and gentle…but swift. Oh, yes…you will miss much.

    Reply
  21. Pari

    Double damn.Alas, my life is so thrilling right now, I couldn’t risk a coronary in AZ.

    But “the music, the moonlight . . .” hum, you interest me strangely.

    Reply
  22. james rollins

    Iden! You are very gracious to go and check out the books. I hope you enjoy them. Try Amazonia…dark forests, strange creatures, shrunken heads, orphaned jaguar cubs, man-eating carnivores, and a bit of steamy jungle love. You know, the usual boy-meets-girl romance…with pirahnas.

    El, again THANKS for letting me participate!

    Reply
  23. Elaine

    Au contraire, Jim!

    My thanks to YOU for so damn much fun – and…and…sigh…catch me before I swoon…the wooonderffull memories.

    Reply
  24. Elaine

    And JLW!!

    I am awesomely complimented – as are – I am positive – the lovely ladies who particpated here.

    Coincidence? Of course not!

    But it stands to reason that you would notice the distinction. You are such a gent. But then, I tell everyone I know that. Honest.

    Reply
  25. thebizofknowledge

    I stumbled across your blog while I was in the process of doing some online research. How hilarious!–who else would say they’d wish they’d written the Old Testament and it’s sequel, the New Testament?!!1

    Reply

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