I have it on excellent authority that I’ve been way too serious lately.
So my guardian angel, Mortie, told me to lighten up. Have some fun for once. Slip into some giggles.
No sooner did he say this than I saw this little item on the amazing interweb:
I saw, I read, I chortled.
WARNING: This is a great way to waste time. Seriously.
Check out the chart below. Pick one word from each column, and precede what you get with “Thou.”
Thou unmuzzled, rump-fed puttock!
(Feels good to get it out, doesn’t it?)
Don’t you wish you trash-talked like this? Don’t you wish everybody did?
Now, after you’ve limbered up a bit, gotten a few combinations under your belt, gotten so they glide effortlessly off your velvet/acid tongue, you may want to try something bold—like come up with insults for the Murderati member you love (read: despise) most!
Post it in the Comment thread and we’ll all try to guess who you mean!
Or, if you’re lazy (and who isn’t, really?), or just overwhelmed by your go-getter/jetsetter/bedwetter lifestyle, you may prefer to let the help do it for you!
Just match the Murderatero of your choice to one of these pre-selected barbs, chosen judiciously by our trained, conscientious, and dedicated staff.
It’s fun! It’s easy! It’s insulting!
Match One From This List With One From This List
Thou fawning, fen-sucked barnacle! Pari Noskin Taichert
Thou beslubbering, beef-witted clotpole! Tania Carver
Thou reeky, onion-eyed scut! David Corbett
Thou fobbing, tickle-brained measle! Gar Anthony Haywood
Thou gorbellied, hedge-born wagtail! P.D. Martin
Thou yeasty, milk-livered jolthead! Zoë Sharp
Thou ruttish, pottle-deep moldwarp! Stephen Jay Schwartz
Thou pribbling, sheep-biting mammet! Alexandra Sokoloff
BONUS POINTS if you actually know what any of these words mean!
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Jukebox Hero of the Week: Continuing on with the light-hearted meme, here’s a spoof on Inglourious Basterds for the grammar sticklers among you (I know you’re out there …):