Batman has robin.  George has Lenny.  Laurel has Hardy.  Arm has Hammer.  And I have Julie.  Julie is my sidekick.  Like Snoop Dogg says, “Everyone needs a sidekick.”  Thanks for the wisdom, Snoop.

When I say sidekick, it may sound like I’m belittling the importance of this role.  A sidekick’s relationship with their mainkick (That’s a new word.  I invented it.  Hands off, buddy) is a necessary one.  A mainkick needs their sidekick to function.  I need my sidekick.  I need my Julie.  I couldn’t function without her.

As I’ve mentioned before, on account of my dyslexia, Julie is a vital part of my writing process.  She’s my eyes.  She reads all my manuscripts to check for my mistakes and reads them all aloud so I can edit. This is just one of her roles.  She’s my sounding board for ideas.  I look to her for opinions on whether I should appear at this store or attend that convention.  I don’t sign any contract without her reading it over.  She’s my cheerleader when something good happens and my shrink when I’m low.  There are many times when she’s talked me out of giving up writing (I think she’s holding out for the movie deal if one should happen).

All of this is great for me.  I’m glad and feel really lucky that Julie has the right temperament to help me with all these issues.  It might sound like I’m dependent on her or unsure of myself.  In some ways that’s true, but my background is in engineering.  No engineer lets his work go without a checker and an approver first looking over it.  That instinct is engrained into me.  It would be foolhardy of me to think I’m always right and incapable of making a mistake.  I need someone like Julie on my team to ensure I turn out the best work I can.  Working alone, it’s easy to get complacent or miss something.

Julie needs to have the spotlight shined on her. 

This might sound like some sappy love note, but it’s not.  I have a Julie and so can you.  After January 1, you can have a Julie—the writer’s sidekick—for the low-low rental price of $99.99 per week + shipping and handling.  This price does not include the cost of food.  Apply now to avoid disappointment.  Operators are standing by.

Simon Wood
PS: I currently have an article about San Francisco Mystery Bookstore in the latest issue of Crime Spree and an article on point-of-view writing in Writer’s Digest.

6 thoughts on “Julie

  1. Alexandra Sokoloff

    As I’ve said before I’m totally jealous of this relationship of yours.

    Interesting offer and the price is right – but what I’d like to know is – are you also stocking the male model, for us (relatively) straight female writers? Because clearly this sidekick thing comes with “benefits”, and I want to know I’m going to be getting my full money’s worth.

    Please advise.

  2. pari noskin taichert


    I don’t have a Julie or a Randy.

    My husband is completely hands-off about my writing. I’m glad, too. He simply doesn’t like crime fiction.

    But, he’s plenty supportive. He goes to work every day and sustains the brunt of our economic needs. He takes care of our children when I travel.

    There are advantages to having one’s writing be totally outside the home realm. Believe me, raising children provides plenty of opportunities for collaboration.

    I like having something totally my own. It makes me feel independent in the marriage.

  3. Nancy

    I’m glad you have a Julie. It means you & I are connected. As for the offer of my own Julie, where do i sign up & is there a discount for family?

    I love the “sappy” love story in this.

  4. Elaine Flinn

    What a lovely tribute to Julie, Simon! I too am lucky in that my husband is a huge support. Besides being my ‘first’ reader, he’s become an incredible cook in the process. 🙂


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