BLURB -GONE- IT
by Ken Bruen
Blurbs might well be the opiate of the writing classes. After all the torture of actually writing a book, finally getting all the vital items in place, i.e.
sympathetic editor/or not
along comes this hound of heaven, the blurb
I’ve been blessed, I never had to ask, my editor asked for suggestions and I had none so in total wish fulfillment mode, he sent the manuscript out to the big names and I got real lucky
Despite what all the various experts say, if you get a rave from one of the top five, you’re going to get noticed
Then comes the day you never expected, ever, you’re asked for a blurb . . . and you’re thinking, Jesus wept, I’ve arrived, someone, some publisher/agent/author thinks I have clout
The very first blurb I did, I agonised over, read the book three times and did a mini essay on the book
The author wrote back
"If you didn’t like the book, why didn’t you just say so? . . . "
Then comes the time when your friends hint at a blurb . . . oh sweet hell, so what are you going to do now. . . . simple, read the book and say what you think
simple but deadly
and you just never know what’s going to come down the pike
Cases in point
I blurbed Cornelia Reed’s debut
she was natuurally upset when on amazon, a wanker said I’d obviously never read the book as Jack Taylor would never like it!
Oh lovely payback, Cornelia is nominated for the Edgar and ITW
Donna Moore is a friend of mine, I love her to bits, and make no secret of it, I thought her novel was outstanding and it won the Lefty, right out of the starting gate
a reviewer reviewed my blurb, not the book
I was asked in in an interview last week, why I took seemingly the unheard of step of blurbing Ray Banks twice . . . because I think he’s that singular and they didn’t hear me the first time
and if he wished, I’d blurb his third, because it’s about the writing
Now here’s a simple Irish test, of pure innocence and total innocence . . . if all things were equal . . . yeah, right, dream on, yada yada . . . and if you had to write the blurb for your own book . . . what would you write . . . and lest you go all humble here’s my blurb for my own book . . . ready?
Bruen has all the hallmarks of a poet manque . . . and so lacking that talent, he has taken refuge in mystery, he can’t cut it in literature, he has a voice that trades heavily on Irish-isms and if he were American, he’d be just one more wanna-be
and you were sure I was going to be nice
I dont do nice . . . even in blurbs