After days of savage hand-to-hand combat in the malls and department stores of America, we should all take a moment to reflect on the true meaning of Christmas.
To me, Christmas is a time for friends and family. It is a time of traditions and memories. And what better way to explore the Christmas spirit than in tightly constructed, yet sincere bullet points.
So here is a list of fond recollections and holiday traditions that have touched my heart.
- Trying to get my older siblings out of bed on Christmas morning so I could open up presents, damn it!
- Tamales for breakfast!!! God bless our neighbors to the south.
- Drinking beer and watching John Woo’s bullet-fest The Killer one Christmas afternoon. Mom was a little perturbed at all the machinegun fire on the savior’s birthday.
- Seven-layer bars!!! These things are like CRACK in a pan.
- Being so hung over one Christmas Eve that I barely left my bedroom. When I did, my grandmother gave me a look so severe, so dripping with disappointment that it haunts my nightmares to this day. I will take that image to my grave.
- Millennium Falcon: Best gift ever!
- Mom reading “‘Twas the Night Before Christmas” to all us kids and pulling it off with out sounding cheesy.
- Nog with the in-laws.
- Catching grandma jamming a tangelo into my stocking. That fact that Grandma stuffed my stocking instead of Santa didn’t bother me. What did bother me was that she took up valuable candy space with a frickin’ tangelo.
- Feeling the cool, free air on my face after being stuck in a stuffy church for Christmas Eve mass.
- Putting up the lights on the house with Dad. Every third light was out. Every fifth light was a blinker.
- Did I mention Seven-layer-bars!!!
- Having the whole MacLean/Leonard/Haydukovitch clan over for Christmas dinner.
- Proposing to my wife in the soft glow of the Christmas tree.
So Murderati readers, what are your favorite Christmas memories?
I’d like to wish happy holidays to Pari, Louise, Paul, Elaine, Simon, Alex, J.T. and to all the other great writers I’ve met this past year.