Separated By a Common Language

by J.D. Rhoades

     As most of you know,  I live in a Southern state. Since my area is a big resort destination, though, we have  a  lot of transplants from various places, particularly the Northeast and, for some reason, Ohio. (Will the last person out of Akron please turn off the lights?)

    There are any number of  funny stories illustrating the linguistic  misunderstandings that occur between Americans and our British cousins (Hi  Zoe!) I  may have told the story here of the time I was working as a DJ in a hotel bar and played a song that's popular in the Southeastern US  extolling the joys of "shagging" (it's a dance). This led to much consternation on the part of a nice British couple at a nearby table.   The disconnect led George Bernard Shaw to famously observe that the British and the Americans are "two peoples separated by a common language."

     You don't have to cross the ocean, however,  to find locutions that puzzle, baffle, and confuse. We get plenty of that with folks from right here within our own national borders.  Most often, I see it in court, which is the place where worlds  collide.  Lately I've been hearing so many examples in the day job that I figured I might was well use them in a Murderati post, for you fans of using  regionalisms in your writing--and, frankly, because they amuse me.

"I want to say": this is used by someone who's really not sure of an answer, but who's giving it their best guess. Such as:

 Q: "How long did the two of you live together?"
 A: "I want to say...two years?"

Clueless comeback: "Don't tell me what you want to say, tell me the truth."

A: "Huh?"

"Whenever": this is used as a substitute for "when." Example "Whenever I was in high school..."

Clueless comeback: "Wait, how many times did you go?"

A: "Huh?"

 "Kindly": Its use is fading a bit, but you still hear older people from out in the country use this one  to mean "kind of." I once heard an older lady, from the teeming metropolis of Black Ankle, North Carolina, admit on the stand that her son had, on occasion,  been "kindly violent." A social worker from (of course)  Ohio, who'd been involved in the case, immediately got into a state of the highest dudgeon. When it was her turn on the witness stand she blasted the old woman: "That's what's wrong with this family! There's no such thing as 'kindly violent!" Embarassed silence. Finally the judge (who, as it happens, was born and raised in the same county as the old lady) leaned over and asked the social worker:  "you're not from around here, are you?"

"Talking": This was common in the African American community a few years ago. It means, basically, having sex. I rermember talking to a  client who had cross warrants with an older man for assault with a deadly weapon. He informed me that it was all a result of a misunderstanding involving the older fellow's daughter: "Me and her been talking for while and I guess her daddy got mad." So, I naturally thought the older fellow had overreacted to someone merely striking up a conversation with his litte girl, and I was all ready to paint him as the unreasonably violent agressor. Fortunately, an older colleague set me straight before I made a colossal ass of myself. More than usual,  I mean.

So, wherever you're from, tell me what regionalisms from your area tend to befuddle the average outsider.  Or tell me about a localism that befuddled you.

WORD LUST

I admit it. There are words that when I hear them, they trigger special endorphins in my brain. They make me salivate, not with base hunger, but with a desire to know their secret. See they all have a similar meaning. Don’t get me wrong, there are other words that get me going, but these…? These captured my imagination when I was young and have never let go.

I probably heard the first of this group when my father would read stories to me before I went to sleep. It was probably in an older story, because, to me, the word is an older one, not one that comes up in everyday conversation. When I heard it, it instantly sounded magical to me. I could almost feel the word rolling around in my mouth.

Parcel [pahr-suhl] • noun

1. an object, article, container, or quantity of something wrapped or packed up; small package; bundle.

There are other meanings, but that’s the mean that’s important to me.

Parcel brings to mind a package wrapped in thick brown paper wrapped with twine. What could be inside? An ancient journal? A box full of coins? A secret invention? A bomb?

I love that word. To a lesser degree I also love package, container, tin, and suitcase. All hold mysteries that you long to be revealed. But out of that group, parcel still reigns supreme for me. It makes me feel warm inside, and evokes endless possibilities.

The other word that can get a similar reaction out of me, is a word in the same general theme. I probably first heard it in association with a western, because it just has that western feel. But it is also a word that can be used in other genres. In fact, I’ve used it myself many times simply because I love the feel of it. The sense of something different it brings.

Kit [kit] • noun

1.    A set or collection of tools, supplies, instructional matter, etc., for a specific purpose: a first-aid kit, a sales kit

2.    The case for containing these

3.   Such a case and its contents

What a great word. Again, like parcel, a kit contains mysterious items. Only in this case, it’s groups of items that are related. The above mentioned first-aid kit, for instance. It could also be a manicure kit, a photography kit, a surveillance kit, a survival kit, a removing the body kit.

I love this work. Because to me, someone who has a specific kit usually is a pro at whatever that kit is for. And what exactly do they need to complete their job? How specialized are the items that make up the kit? Is the kit organized with neat little containers for every tool? Or is it a grab bag of items piled on top of each other?

Love, love, love.

Okay, ‘rati. Let’s hear it from you. What are some of your favorite words, and why? I’m looking for the words that make you stop for a moment and roll around in them.

Once again I’m on the road, so if I don’t respond in a timely matter please forgive me. I promise to check out all your words and comment as soon as I can.