Workaholics not so anonymous
Saturday, July 16, 2011 at 8:50AM in Alexandra Sokoloff I don't have a problem.
It's the easiest thing in the world to say. Easy to say because this is America, where hard work (note that it's "hard" work, not "easy" work) is not just rewarded, it's canonized. Easy to say because "all my friends do it." Easy to say because people all around you would kill to have your career, so you should be grateful. Easy to say because IT WORKS.
Writing is my job. No one supports me—I do this for a living. And I do make a living at it, which all my life I was told couldn't happen. Well, I've made it work for pretty much my whole adult life.
So I never thought I had a problem. Why should I think that? In Hollywood, workaholism is the job description. You better love it, want it, because you're going to be doing it every waking hour, and by the way, who told you you needed eight hours of sleep? Workaholism is the standard for Los Angeles; ambitious people from all over the country, all over the world, come here since to "make it" and that's created a whole culture of ambition—and workaholism. I've been immersed in it so long it was the only thing I knew. It was a huge shock to live in the South and be surrounded by people who didn't live that way; I felt like I was set on 78 rpm while almost everyone else was on 45.
And writing is one of those things that you can never fully turn off, anyway. Maybe it IS just the job description.
Add to that that given the recession, we're ALL working too much. All of us who are lucky enough to have jobs, that is, and with so many people who don't, it's the last thing you're going to complain about. All my friends with "real" jobs are working harder than ever before because staffs have been cut everywhere and the staff that remains is expected to pick up the slack. And hey, at least it's a job. So given the national (world) circumstances, it's crazy to even bring up the question. Isn't it?
Is there such a thing as workaholism, anyway? It's not in the Diagnostical and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (a crime writer's favorite light reading), like the other isms. There may be treatment centers for it in California, but then we also have treatment centers for workaholic pets. If you see what I mean.
So - iit's a time that no one can complain about working, all my friends do it, and it works.
And yet... I think I have a problem.
I don't know what exactly to do about it. You can stop alcohol and pills and gambling and Internet porn. You can reprogram food binging. You can't quit work cold turkey.
But I'm not naive about treatment for this things. I was a functioning anorexic for a while (another "ism" that's easy to dismiss if you're rewarded for it). Never to the point of hospitalization, but certainly flirting with the deep end.
So how did I get out of it? I didn't seek treatment, but it was about that time that I started practicing yoga and meditation (which I didn't know at the time is considered one of the most effective treatments for anorexia), and some in-depth journaling (therapeutic writing instead of professional writing). The obsession faded, maybe to be replaced with work - although the work was already there.
So I know the treatment for balance is more yoga, more meditation, more "self-care", as a therapist would say.
This is all coming up because I've been working my way through Julia Cameron's The Artist's Way, as I mentioned in the discussion here on Monday. I'd been aware of Cameron's creativity books and workshops for years, but I never knew that she used principles of recovery to break through creative blocks. There's some serious healing to be had in that book.
And this week I got to a chapter on workaholism (and other blocks to creativity). Well, I'd been with the program up until then, but workaholism as a block to creativity? That does't even make sense.
She poses a list of questions entiled The Awful Truth which begins:
1. Tell the truth. What habit do you have that gets in the way of your creativity?
I read that and scoffed. Is she kidding? I'm creative 12 hours a day. I have so many creative projects going I can't keep them straight. I have four book contracts, two spec books, I've got the first book up in my new e-book business, I'll have the second up next week....
Oh.
I see.
Hmm.
2. Tell the truth. What do you think might be a problem? It is.
Okay, so my problem is overextension. Yes, it is a problem.
3. What do you plan to do about the habit or problem?
So here we are. I can't stop working, and I have no idea what I am going to do about the problem, but I have taken the first step. I've admitted I have a problem.
And my question is (Tell the truth:) Do you?
Here's an interesting tidbit for discussion. Professor Bryan Robinson, a major researcher in this field, identifies four kinds of workaholics:
- Savoring Workaholics, (low work initiation, low work completion, high procrastination)
- Attention Deficit Workaholics (high work initiation, low work completion, high procrastination)
- Bulimic Workaholics (high work completion)
- Relentless Workaholics (high work completion).
I haven't been able to find more complete definitions, but certainly I am familiar with the low work completion/high work completion gap. Busyness is not working, as far as I'm concerned; the only work that counts is the work that gets finished. So I'm definitely not one of the first two. I can't figure out what a Bulimic workaholic would be, which maybe means I am one, but I think relentless is more apt.
Anyway, thought I'd throw that in there.
But what do you guys think? Is workaholism just part of a writer's job description, or a serious behavioral dysfunction? Is it a problem, but better than the alternative? Is it okay as long as it works?
Anyone out there have anything to confess?
And even if none of this applies to you, do you think that we're quietly headed for a national problem because the recession is forcing all working people to overwork?
- Alex
Reader Comments (56)
Terrific post. But I should be so lucky as to be a workaholic of any kind. I'll write about my struggles with an anemic work ethic in a future post of my own, but suffice it to say for now, I both admire and envy your ability to buckle down and do what's necessary to build a successful writing career day in and day out. Nobody can ever say you don't deserve every single moment of success that comes your way, and that's got to be pretty cool thought to wake up to every morning.
My problem is I say No a lot, which makes me think I'm good at it when actually I have a problem saying no to the things I really should be saying no to. But that's getting a little better.
But on the overwork topic, you're one of those people I can always look at and think - Well, I'm not the ONLY one... ;)
I have the opposite problem!
And I agree with Alafair about the word "NO." Very difficult word to learn. But hey, it will free up more time to concentrate on... work.
But every time I say that, I am faced with the reality that multiple projects are what allow myself to support myself writing.
And then I quit the day job and now I'm lucky if I put in an eight-hour work day writing. I'm having a hard time pushing myself to do more. I think it's because I just got fed up with over-working myself, watching the days tick by where I don't get to play with my kids. I told my boys things would get easier when I left the day job, I told them I'd have more time to spend with them. And I'm doing so. Because they'll be teenagers soon, and then they'll be out of the house, and there will be plenty of time for me to go back to being a workaholic.
And...I want to enjoy this writing stuff. I don't want it to just be a career, a grind. If I want a grind I'll go back to selling lighting fixtures. It would be nice if I could increase my output. But I tell myself I'm learning every day, observing things, moving forward a few steps at a time.
I spent a year at one of the top schools for jazz in the country, North Texas State University (now called the University of North Texas) where all the students are absolutely insane in their ambition and talent, and I heard one of the instructors tell his class, "Why are you all in such a hurry? Slow down, take your time, enjoy your lives." While I've been ambitious all my life, I think I've managed to pull back from total workaholism.
Okay, then definitely, I'm not a Bulimic workaholic, if periods of inactivity are part of the syndrome.
Thanks for coming out. It feels better to talk about it, anyway.
This is what I want to do, pull back from the brink.
In my day job, I would fall into the category of one who is overworked due to lack of enough teachers to educate our students. I need to think on this some more and see if I could come up with some answers.
Alex, I love that book. When I took acting classes, it was one of the recommended reads for me. Have a great rest of the day ladies. Will check back later.
Peace and love,
Paula R.
And it's getting worse and worse for you all, with all the budget cuts.
But the fear thing - that's another "ism" - perfectionism. The best lesson I learned in theater is that there is no such thing as perfect. I think every artist has to get over that hump.
It's an amazing book, isn't it?
Learning to say "No" to others is good, but learning to tell yourself "No" is supremely hard. What a great, thought-provoking post!
The idea of one whole unworking day has become inconceivable. That is the problem.
Compared to the rest of the 'Rati crew, I fear I fall into the category of shirker ;-]
There has always been a culture over here in the UK of martyred workaholicism. People who stagger into work even when they're dripping with cold and don't manage to achieve anything other than spreading their germs around to everyone else. People who daren't leave before the rest of their office because otherwise they might be seen as not being a team player and therefore be first in the firing line when the cuts come. Whatever happened to 'work smart, not hard'?
Writing creates its own level, and I really don't think you can compare your own output to anyone else's. Yes, some people manage to put out 10,000 words a day on a regular basis. But if that's not your natural rhythm, trying to force yourself into it will only result in deep unhappiness. A friend of mine was told by a well-known writer on a course that anyone who didn't produce 2000 words a day was 'lazy'. My friend has suffered from feelings of inadequacy ever since, as 2k a day is outside the realms of possibility when jugglied with a full-time job, a long commute, and anything resembling a life.
That "ism" is the best one...perfectionism....what we all strive for. I wish that term never existed...we should all strive for "normalism". Life would be so much simpler then, or would it? Hmmm...
Peace and love,
Paula R.
I don't believe quantity equals quality - with books the opposite seems to be much more true. That's why I have this nagging feeling that I need to clear my slate to focus on just one thing. And maybe one on the side.
It's a question of how soon I can actually GET that clear.
Rigid control would just kill a scene; it's the first thing that has to go.
Well, you've sucked me down your insightful, thought-provoking, damn near life-changing rathole on another Saturday morning. (Rati-hole?) In the immortal words of Randy Newman: I'd kill you if I didn't love you so much.
Early on in my writing career, I worked with Tom Jenks, who edited Hemingway's last unfinished MS (THE GARDEN OF EDEN), and his core notion was: Why write if you're not trying to create a masterpiece? Andrew Gross also studied with Tom and was paralyzed by that standard; he's become a best seller since discarding it.
For better or worse, I embraced it, and have tried to write THE GREAT AMERICAN CRIME NOVEL with every book. As a result, I've had to accept a double failure -- I've written no masterpieces (or if I have, I didn't get the memo), and have achieved no popular success to make up for it. I'm damn proud of my books, don't get me wrong. But that standard creates in me an incredible hurdle that makes difficult the necessary fumbling and failure and messy muck-ups that are part and parcel of creativity.
Like you, I'm juggling numerous projects right now, and the hectic nature of that makes it difficult to sink down into the dark inner silence where true creativity dwells. That silence (the artist's "inner cave") is by nature forbidding and scary because it's where the unknown dwells, It's where our secrets and fears -- and thus our strength and courage -- dwell. It's rejuvenating and terrifying. One doesn't just dip in and dip out.
I'm busy, I'm even productive. But am I truly creative? Sometimes. But not often enough.
My sweet thing is a documentary filmmaker for TV, and the pace is killing her. In my last post, I talked about the "impromptu experiment in sociopathic narcissism commonly referred to as the economy." Competition doesn't always produce excellence; sometimes it just produces stress. I think people are frazzled and frantic. And scared. Fear is a great motivator for some people. For others it's a soul killer.
And yet there's no way out that I can see. Except to allow for less "success" than others might have, and to nurture whatever inwardness and/or connectedness you can manage each day.
And there's always single malt.
Now -- I really do have to get to the farmer's market. Diet is so important to the workaholic.
Corbett (The Man Who Puts the Rat in Murderati)
I think I fall somewhere between the bulimic and the relentless workaholic. The problem is I'm always busy, but I'm not always creating. I'm starting to have a real problem with that. I've mentioned here before I traded one addiction for another - smoking for Internet. I got fat, lazy, completely absorbed in worlds not my own, and ultimately, much less creative. I've been trying to pull out of that hole ever since.
I don't know how much of our workaholic nature is driven by the relentless promotion we all suddenly feel we must do. But since story comes first, and we all do a lot of reading and typing, there's a disconnect. I know that if my creative brain isn't working, I'll write blog posts, redesign my website, update Facebook... anything that makes me feel like I'm doing "book" work so I at least have a hand in. When what I really SHOULD do is shut the damn computer off and go read a book.
Working on that also.
That truly sums it up, David. It's hard to get to that inner cave for just one project, let alone multiples.
"Turn off the computer and go read a damn book" is probably the best prescription for all of us.
Can't wait for your blog on it all!
I have periods of intense workaholism until my brain decides it's all too much, and I then have days following that where I lack focus. I have had a tendency to throw myself into work when I'm going through any sort of personal crisis. I always call it "work therapy." Much easier to throw myself into a job than face whatever the issue of the day is. It's kept me from falling apart many times. And working in law, I've always been prone to overworking.
BUT you're right that with the current economy a lot of employers are taking advantage - I worked for an insurance company a couple of years ago when the economy first collapsed that treated its employees like indentured servants. We were expected to work a lot of overtime without pay in order to keep up with our insane case loads. I had over 180 cases at any given time and was constantly preparing at least 3 a week for trial. It was insane pressure. One of the attorneys even took several boxes of files with her on her honeymoon. It was one of the worst jobs I've ever had ever. And I resented the fact that they were constantly threatening our jobs and telling us if we didn't like it we could go join the unemployment lines. It was the straw that broke the camel's back for me and pushed me to go back to school and find another job. So there is a point when over-worked people break and have to do something else. (Luckily, I now work in a firm that treats its employees decently, and no one yells at or swears at us or threatens us. It's actually given me hope that I can enjoy being a paralegal again.)
The thing is, I think your body and brain get to a point where they just don't want to handle the stress of work-aholism and will shut down, whether you want that to happen or not. That lack of focus will creep in, or you'll end up with a never-ending cold, or you'll start making heaps of mistakes. If you're not able to shut the work off, your body will find a way to do it for you, and sometimes with more drastic consequences. Much better to actively find "balance" - whether through exercise or meditation or art or scheduling regular breaks into your calendar throughout each day, so that you don't end up in a hospital bed wondering how you let that happen.
Well, who am I kidding - there's a climate of fear here, too.
Exercise is always part of my routine, but I've been pretty compulsive about that, too!
So Alex. You're folding?
Best thing I ever did was find my dream horse and then the farm. No matter how crazy I get with work, I have to walk out to the barn a number of times a day and every time I do, all the mania of working too much just evaporates. (along with tension, stress, physical ailments, etc.) There have even been days when I am INSIDE spinning out a little and one or the other of the horses will come to a spot where I look out the window and see that regal equine face looking in at me. They know! And they pull me out of it.
For someone else it might be dancing or gardening or knitting or... whatever. But I think we all need to find that thing on the other end of the fulcrum that helps balance out whatever it is that tends to pull us too far in one direction. None of us come out perfectly balanced - we have to create that mindfully and keep returning to it over and over again.
I need to apply that same mentality when it comes to writing. I might have to look into yoga too. It's been recommended by many, and here it is again in your post. Maybe it's a sign.
Peace and love,
Paula R.
Personal Disclosure: The school still deposits a check in my account every month.
The answer to "Should I do yoga?" is always YES. ;)
________________________
Walking is highly overrated.
Reading a book is not.
Your student who got the great residency and worried about getting a job afterward may just be realistic. My son and his girlfriend have been stars of a nationally ranked Ph.D. program that usually has a 97% placement rate for its grads. They've already published and presented at national and international conferences. This is their year to start job search. Last year, only one graduate of this program got a job offer. Even the creme de la creme of graduate and professional students are having trouble finding jobs in this economy--after years and years of work and loads of debt. (Son & girlfriend are lucky here since they had complete full-rides.) Your student may actually have real reason to be concerned. Linda
I've found I can overt trouble by noticing when my focus is too narrow. I try to incorporate a range of different experiences into my world and give myself time to enjoy them. For the most part it works. Current status... work in progress.
Must also agree with Bilie. Mindfulness helps. A lot.
Are you okay? Sounds painful.