Bad Haircuts
Monday, June 1, 2009 at 5:00AM in Guest Blogger Hey, 'Rati readers. Join me in welcoming this week's guest, Stacey Cochran. Stacey is a go-getter suspense writer whose new book CLAWS was published last month. An avid proponent of self-publication, Stacey has been a frequent visitor to our blog and always has something interesting to say.
In his first post here, he's decided to lighten things up a bit and have some fun . . .
Today I'd like to talk about a topic of eminent importance to us all . . .
Bad haircuts and worst fashion trends!
Seriously, I'm on tour for CLAWS and I've done, like, fifteen guest blogs in a row. So I thought I'd write about something other than my little-engine-that-couldn't book.
Let's talk about the worst fashion mistakes of our lives.
I had a rattail.
You remember those really bad redneck haircuts of the mid 80s where you would cut your hair in the back so that it hung down in a single line meant to resemble (like the name suggests) an actual rat's tail. I recall my sixth-grade teacher very sincerely threatening to lop it off herself. In retrospect, maybe she should have.
That was probably the worst haircut of my life . . .
With the possible exception of the time I cut my hair in the seventh grade, by myself, with a pair of Mom's orange-handled sewing scissors. That one was pretty bad, too, because I cut the front of my hair down to a nub while leaving the sides and back at varying lengths.
And then in high school, somehow I let my older brother at my hair with electric clippers. He started with a Mohawk, but it eventually led to a bald cut. This was, like, a month before prom and I was quite possibly the most awkward looking guy in my entire high school.
Rail thin (I think I weighed 135) and bald is a strange look for a seventeen-year-old. Talk about embarrassing.
Probably the worst fashion disaster of my life was my "camo" phase. Remember when camouflage was in? People would wear Army fatigues like they were jeans. I confess I had three pairs . . . and they went right alongside my parachute pants! (Those synthetic nylon pants that felt like you were wearing wax paper.) They always had zippers. Only my parents couldn't really afford the trendier kind so I had to settle for the bargain bin version from K-Mart on Western Boulevard in Raleigh.
Oh . . . my . . . God! Picture a rail-thin kid with a bald head in a pair of camouflage pants and, usually, a football jersey that hung over my frame like a bed sheet. That was me!
And don't forget the braces.
How do we ever make it out of that period in our lives? How did I not end up the Unibomber?
What about you? What was the worst fashion trend you'll confess to? What was the worst hair mistake of your life?
Friends,
Come back next week for guest blogger Carolyn Haines. See you then.
Pari
Reader Comments (20)
No question: there's a picture (Yes, actual photographic proof and I have no idea why I've not burned it) of me in my 'cool' outfit:
From bottom up:
Black suede elf boots
Black parachute pants
blue/black thin tie used as belt, with the ends hanging down my thigh
blue shirt, collar popped, with a white shirt beneath it, collar popped
I cringe at the memories...
Going through the years...Parachute pants (red or light blue & black tiger-striped bandanna around the wrist, 'cause I was '80s DANGEROUS!)...later a mullet and tie-dye (with the multi-colored woven belt, tied in front, with my jeans...even later I went with the combat boots and grunge-flannel or a jean or leather jacket, and had the long-on-the-top, shaved-on-the-sides-and-back thing, either as a ponytail or hanging in my face (curly hair does NOT look good like this, especially when the humidity makes it bushy to boot). Eventually I started to develop the friar's halo in the back, so now I just shave it.
Stacey,
Welcome!
I've never been "in fashion" enough to be out of it.
However, I can say that using what I now refer to as "spackle" on my face in the form of thick make up didn't do much for my looks or self esteem. I don't hide behind that kind of plaster anymore -- even though I'm older and have the sun damage/wrinkles to show for it.
My worst fashion mistakes have only occurred within the past forty-four years of my life.
Pageboy haircut.
This was not something I did to myself, this was something that was done to me.
Although I take full responsibility for the short skirts+thick tights+heavy boots combo of the nineties.
Welcome Stacey!
Worst fashion mistake...oh there were so many. Remember the leisure suit? I had one. But I think the worst has to be prom 1979. Carolina Blue tux. Puffy shirt. Hair to my shoulders. "Nuff said.
I think the guys have beat the girls here with their examples.
My worst? A perm that left me looking like a myopic sheep.
I'm picturing Dusty in a leisure suit, and the image is making me chuckle. Now if he only had on those elf boots that Peter's talking about....
Jake, it sounds like we went through the same bad fashion periods together!
And, CM, I don't know but I kind'a like the image I'm getting from "short skirts+thick tights+heavy boots." Sounds nice to me!
Thanks, Pari, and 'Rati for having me today. I'll check in throughout the day...
A perm that left me looking like a myopic sheep.
You sound adorable, Louise. I would have fallen hard for you!
Loving the descriptions.
My fashion "don't" - Circa 1972
Black lace-up knee-high boots
Black hose
Black bodysuit (turtleneck)
Black and White checkered mini skirt
Wide Black fake-leather belt
White bead necklace
I looked like a hooker ready to hit the streets.
I looked like a hooker ready to hit the streets.
----
I'm seeing it, Cyndi! Again, maybe it's just the male in me, but these "bad" examples from the ladies in the house are actually turning me on!
Whereas us guys just sound like a bunch of clowns.
Oh Stacey! I come in on Monday specifically to read Pari and I was disappointed at first to see that there was a guest blogger. Then I started to READ.
I quickly clicked on the word "rattail" hoping against hope that you'd have posted a PICTURE.
Find one and post it later....please.
I went to school where we tipped cows, the h.s. bldg sat in a cornfield, and a lot of dope was smoked to Dark side of the moon....I've SEEN the rattail.
My worst fashion mistake. Jean mini skirt, short, cuffed ruffly socks with see through high heeled blue jelly shoes. (shudder)
Thanks for the post. Good luck with the tour.
Hi Pari!
I finally launched my blog yesterday...then I had to go lie down where it was quiet for a while...
Karen
Karen,
Congratulations!!
I'm on a moderate vacation from blogging for this week and next, though I can't stay away. I'll be doing THAT in October when I take a writing master class . . .
Pari,
Thanks so much for stopping in at my blog. I'm honored.
I'll miss you next week too, but I love Ms. Haines. I have all the "bones" books.
So I'll probably survive til you get back. (but just probably)
:)
Oh, thank goodness for the anonymity of the internet. My biggest fashion embarrassment? Fluorescent colors. The outfit? White and fluorescent green striped baggy pants with fluorescent suspenders, an orange fluorescent sweatshirt underneath, matching orange fluorescent socks, and white jazz shoes--although I had never danced a step of jazz in my life. Oh, and don't forget the mullet at the top of it all. I wish my mistake had been as subtle as a hooker ready to hit the streets.
Fluorescent colors.
---
This reminds me of the Sonny Crockett look. I forgot all about that fevered trend in the mid-80s... anybody remember what I'm talking about?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_%22Sonny%22_Crockett
Welcome Stacey.
There are so many ghosts of fashion nightmares.
Alexis Carrington shoulder pads.
The Flash Dance look.
Girls with straight hair should never attempt perms.
And the aerobic class inspired forehead sweat band. (Ew.)
I once had my head shaved but that was for charity so it doesn't count.
So... it must be those perms my grandmother had inflicted on me when I was a teen ... so staid and not at all the kind of loose curls I wanted (and still want). Being forced to wear a dirndl to a school disco in 1982 (I was ten) because it made me "look cute" was a true low (I loved that dirndl but it was a school disco not a costume party and Germany this isn't - sadly granny had a pathological hatred of jeans and a forceful personality).
Becky
I had a pair of stonewashed jeans that I made my mom sew black strips down the sides. I thought they were the coolest. Looking back, I'm glad there are no pictures. I also had the poofy bang syndrome of the late 80s early 90s. You know, the ones that had so much hairspray, they could stand up to Fort Hood's humidity?
Otherwise, I'm glad there aren't that many pics floating around. I had horrible fashion sense as a teenager. I like to think I've improved with age!
Jessica Scott
Thanks so much, everyone. Had fun today!