Balimore Beckons
Thursday, October 2, 2008 at 12:51AM in Zoë Sharp by Zoë Sharp
Next week it’s the Bouchercon World Mystery Convention in Baltimore, with the catchy title of Charmed To Death. Co-chaired by crime aficionado Judy Bobalik, and Jon and Ruth Jordan, the force behind Crimespree magazine, it looks like being one of the biggest and best yet.
It will certainly be one of the busiest. As I look at all the scrawled notes in my pocket diary - cell phone numbers of all the people I’ve promised to meet up with, appointments and get-togethers - I realise that there’s very little blank space left for actually going to panels. Even my own!
This year, I’m lucky enough to have been invited to participate in two-and-a-half. The first is 4:40pm on Thursday afternoon, entitled ‘Janie’s Got a Gun’ (Aerosmith) - do you need to kick ass to be kick ass? - with own JT Ellison in the moderating chair, plus Tasha Alexander, Robert Fate, Cornelia Read, and Greg Rucka. This should be a very interesting topic because of the amount of perception involved in whether people pick up a writer’s book or not. Does it help if the reader believes the author actually capable of the things they’ve written about? Does it matter?
The second is 8:30am Friday morning. This one’s called ‘Six Days on The Road’ (Dave Dudley) with me taking the hot seat this time, and Glynn Marsh Alam, Barry Eisler, NM Kelby, Jonathan Sandlofer, and Marcia Talley all bravely agreeing to rise at that hour of the morning. After some discussion we seem to have split this topic into two distinct subjects - using location in the writers’ work, and tales of touring. I’m sure everybody has horror stories of the Tour from Hell and I can’t wait to hear them.
I also asked all my panellists for a quirky fact about themselves just to add to the mix, and they’ve come up with some belters. I shall definitely be asking Jonathan about his experiences with egg yolks and gladioli in Spanish Harlem, and Barry about the book he owns on CONTINGENCY CANNIBALISM. So, if you want to know more, you’ll just have to be there ...
But, moderating a panel at B’con is a big responsibility, and one I take seriously. I know people are happy just to wing it, but I know others are very uncomfortable to play it completely off the cuff, and I’ve tried to make sure I’ve done as much prep as I’m able to, reading as many of the panellists’ books as I can, and spending some time on their websites. What’s your preference? As either a panellist or audience member?
And last - but not least - we come to the half a panel I mentioned, which is one of the half-hour slots - at 10am on Saturday morning. This is where Meg Chittenden and I will be reviving our semi-lighthearted talk and demonstration on the gentle art of self-defence. We haven’t given this one for a few years, but the last time we did, we called it ‘You Can’t Run in High Heels’. In deference to Baltimore B’con’s song-title-themed panels, we’ve changed this slightly to ‘In These Shoes? I Doubt You’d Survive!’ (Kirsty MacColl).
As Meg lives in the Northwest rain forest, and I live in the UK, we can’t exactly get together to rehearse much for this. On previous occasions, we’ve found a quiet spot somewhere at the convention and gone through some of the moves we’ll be demonstrating then. And you know the weirdest thing? As any of you who know Meg will testify, a wicked wit and serious mystery-writing skills are hidden behind a butter-wouldn’t-melt white-haired exterior. So, there’s this genteel-looking lady, apparently being strangled by some English ruffian, and does anybody gallantly offer to come to her aid? Do they even ask what it is we’re doing, exactly? Er, no, they don’t.
And if that’s as good a reason as any for learning to take care of yourself, I don’t know what is ...
As is always the case when we cross the pond, our first instinct is to try and find a gun range to brush up on our skills. In fact, at ThrillerFest in July 2006, my other half, Andy arranged a big outing to the Scottsdale Gun Club as part of a belated birthday present. After all, what else do you buy a girl except three belts of ammunition to put through a Squad Assault Weapon?
And, if we find a range nearby in Baltimore that’s amenable - like we did with the excellent Deerfield Archery and Pistol Center in Deerfield, WI when we were at B’con Madison in 2006, I’ll be delighted to put another ‘Have Breakfast and Go To The Gun Range’ lot into the charity auction. Last time, the winning bidder was Judy Watford, who was determined to take the opportunity to go shoot holes in a target, as she’d never been allowed to do so in her home state of Texas. Now, I’d always thought things like that were fairly compulsory in Texas, but Judy has been blind from birth and could not find a range who would allow her to have a go. The guys at DP&AC were far more laid-back about the whole thing and we had a great time.
But nevertheless, going to a convention is a big outlay in time as well as money. We’ll be away the best part of ten days, including calling in to NYC on the way back to do my one post-Bouchercon event - at Partners & Crime in Greenwich Village, 7pm on October 14th, with Sean Chercover, who’s launching the already acclaimed TRIGGER CITY on the same day my THIRD STRIKE comes out. It was great of Sean to invite me to join his party, as it were, and I'm thrilled and honoured to be able to do so.
So, my question is, why do you go? Is it to meet fellow authors, to get out of that secluded little world we tend to sit in and write? Is it to revitalise your enthusiasm for the craft? Is it to make contacts and meet new readers? Do you have that vital ‘elevator pitch’ prepared for your latest WIP?
What do you hope to get out of attending a convention - and do you succeed?
This week’s Phrase of the Week is knuckle under, which means to submit. It comes from the drinking taverns of 17th century London, where arguments raged. A person admitting defeat would knock on the underside of the table with his knuckle. There’s also some suggestion that it comes from bare-knuckle boxing, where the fighters would keep their fists up in front of them if they still wanted to fight, and down, with their knuckles behind their hands, if they’d had enough. Also corrupted into buckle under.
This should not be confused with knuckle down, which means to concentrate or apply yourself to a task, and comes from the game of marbles. The rules state that a player’s knuckle must be placed in the exact spot where the player’s previous marble came to rest. Those not paying attention, and allowing their hand to come off the ground are told to put their ‘knuckle down’.
Reader Comments (33)
I'll definitely have to check out your Saturday panel. I taught taekwondo a long time ago, so it'll be interesting to see if I remember any of the self-defense!
This is my first Bouchercon and first conference as a published author. So, if you see me with my eyes wide open and frozen in fear, give me a shake and introduce yourself.
Funny thing is, Zoe, I met Judy Bobalick while I was running the shooting range evening here in St. Louis at last Year's Sisters in Crime Forensic University. It was me, a wonderful instructor and 50 ladies, many who had never shot before.
Hope you have a great time in Baltimore. I think it was ThrillerFest last year where they gave first-time attendees a special badge so people would know to make a special effort to make them feel welcome and included. I don't know if they're going to do that at B'con, but I thought it was a lovely idea.
Please come and say "hi", and I hope you enjoy my session with Meg. It's supposed to be a bit of fun, but I see from your website that your ex-cop and martial arts instructor, Summer Evans, is pretty well capable of taking care of herself, so you probably don't need any help!
Having seen so many of your comments on 'Rati, it will be great to see you at B'con. Likewise, if you spot me (most likely in the bar) please come and say "hi" We'll soon get rid of that rabbit-in-the-headlights look ;-]
Have you got your elevator pitch down pat?
I'm having my "conference resistance" phase (picture small child beating heels on floor screaming "I don't wanna go..." ) But I know the second I get there I will light up and never want to leave.
I guess it's like running a marathon - you resist until the endorphins kick in.
I can't wait to see everyone! And Z, if you do get to the range, grab me by the collar on your way out, wouldja?
I think everybody is aiming to be at the self-defence panel just so they can watch Meg beating me up ...
Really looking forward to our panel. It's a cool subject and there's plenty to talk about, so we'll be fine ;-]
One of my worries about my panel is that it's 8:30am. I studied the Moderator's Manifesto, but couldn't find anything about it being the moderator's job to go round and roust the panellists from their beds - thank goodness ...
But yep, it sounds like a blast.
I've learned that, unlike, say. SF cons, most of the mystery fans don't stay up nearly as late, so I'd best be there, looking spiffy and ready to rock and roll (even if my voice sounds like I've been gargling razor blades).
I was very lucky when I attended my first US convention - Stephen Booth emailed Meg Chittenden and asked her specially to keep an eye out for me and take me under her wing, which she did with her customary style and wit.
My advice to first-timers would be - take the white name card out of its holder and, around your name, write "Help! I'm a newbie!" And then anyone sees it should come to your rescue ;-]
You should have been at Harrogate this year - we held the bar until the wee small hours. Well, certain among the crime writing fraternity did, anyway ...
And I would turn out early on a Sunday morning to hear you speak. But, doesn't your voice *always* sound like you've been gargling with bourbon and razor blades?
But that's when I'm prepared. If my moderator holds back all the questions like, say, ahem, JT, I may not be so confident.
And to all our 'Rati friends: Shall we try to meet in the bar at some time? Maybe Saturday at 6:00?
After all, we originally signed up to this deal in order to sit and write, not necessarily as performers in front of a live audience. I know authors who literally either vibrate with nerves, or physically throw up before appearing in public.
Sorry to not reply to your comment sooner. I must have arrived just as I hit 'post' to reply to Wilfred and then got called away from my computer! The result is it looks like I did a very strange reply to your comment! Sorry about that...
Both your panels sound like great fun, and I'm all for meeting in the bar Sat at 6pm. Should we all wear a red carnation and carry a rolled up copy of The Times?
To get back to my original question, though. I know everybody's looking forward to B'con, but why do you go to conventions? And what do you hope to get out of it?
SMOOTH CRIMINAL (Alien Ant Farm) Making the bad guys likable. Sandra Ruttan(M), Brett Battles, Blake Crouch, Craig McDonald, F. Paul Wilson
Looking forward to seeing old friends and making a few new ones!
Zoë, if your range trip doesn't conflict with the panels I'm acting as room monitor for (one of which is Janie's Got A Gun), I'd like to tag along too.
Zoe, I'll put your self-defense demonstration on my list of things to see and do on Saturday. I just hope neither you nor Meg come away with a black eye or busted nose. (You did say gentle art, right?)
Louise, Saturday at 6 pm, barside, sounds good. See you there!
Damn, can't believe we clash with you. Sounds like a great topic - but they all do ;-]
And you certainly seem to make a character who should be a traditional bad guy, into a likeable hero. Have fun with it.
Sorry to hear you've reached the limit of your travel - I'm sure there's some kind of weak pun to be had out of that, but it's late and my brain is not functioning at full speed ;-]
Looking forward to seeing you and, as you say, you KNOW you'll have a great time when you get there!
Thanks for the comments. The one thing I never manage to do much of is see much of whichever city the convention takes place in. Most of the time, I'm lucky to see daylight, I think, and Baltimore looks like being no exception. We usually try and sneak out on Sunday afternoon, after everything's officially over. I remember in Chicago we took a boat trip and got to see the fabulous city skyline from Lake Michigan.
Staying up late in the bar doesn't mean you have to get very, very drunk, though ;-]
And finding a decent gun range is always fun - er, I mean vital research, of course ...
I hope you have a terrific time in Baltimore and enjoy your first B'con. Looking forward to seeing you in the bar.
And, hey - you've seen the picture. Meg can fight rough!
Panels, I quickly learned, are fun. First, you're sharing the stage, which in and of itself makes it easier. And you are the expert, even though it may not feel that way. You are the authority on you, and readers are interested. Don't be a panel hog, always cede to your neighbor once you've made your point, don't worry about trying to be funny, and BE YOURSELF. You're going to be awesome.
All that said, I've found that if the topic is general, it's much better not to have the panelists pre-thinking their answers. Spontaneity and flexibility makes great panels. If it's something more esoteric, absolutely. Plus, all my panelists are seasoned pros. I would never, ever expect a newbie to go in blind.
Z, I'll be there will bells on : )
I agree with you completely. But, it's sometimes difficult to ask a fellow panellist if this is their first time without risking insulting them - especially if they've been coming to conventions for years and your paths have happened never to cross before.
Sometimes, the most memorable answers are the short ones. I can still remember Laura Wilson answering a question at Harrogate two years ago on where she got the inspiration for some of the more bizarre or disturbed characters in her novels. She smiled sweetly and said, "My family."
Zoe,I like going to cons but just can't afford the time and cost anymore. Next year, I'm cutting waaaay back. I love seeing friends and meeting new ones, but am in a phase where I just want to write, write, write (Alex, I can relate to that kid you mentioned).
Still I'm glad to be at the Bouchercon that is honoring Murderati this year. It's an incredible thing that we were nominated for an Anthony and I hope we make a good showing.
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